In Pearlspective

Q: What do you call a happy occasion marked by loud festivities and too much food? A: A celebration. Q: What do you call the solemn observance of a memorable occasion? A: Not a celebration. I know what you're thinking... "What the heck is she even talking about?" Well, let's break it down a bit. In an attempt to make fewer riddles and more sense, I present The Tale of Two Pictures. The first picture, in black & white, tells the story of a young man who entered the United States Army as part of the 10th Mountain Division; a man who trained for rugged, mountainous terrain by practicing maneuvers in the Rocky Mountains of Colorado. After months of training, his division went on to play a key role in WWII, fighting their way through the snow-covered mountains of Italy and clearing the way for the allied forces who came behind them. The American soldiers were celebrated as heroes by the Italian people, but not by our young man. Regardless of what he and his comrad...

Dear Friend, I love you. I need you to believe that. It's hard to know what love looks like any more so I need you to trust my love no matter what you hear. I also need you to tell me if  I can love you better. I love you but I'm not a mind reader and I'm not perfect - nobody is. Part of loving you means I care about your health. This virus going around right now - I don't want you to get it and I definitely don't want to give it to you! That's why I don't spend time with you when I'm sick. I love you but I'd rather miss you than make you sick. I guess a lot of folks can be contagious without being sick. After all, I never hung out with someone who was puking their guts out before I got the flu. I suppose that's true of any virus. But what can I do about that? Should I never see you again, even when I feel healthy, just in case I might have something contagious? Perpetual consensual loneliness isn't love, it's trauma. I can't do...

I've never really told this story before, but I think it's time... As an entertainer, I've seen music touch many people, some who don't understand the language being sung, and I've even seen deaf people respond to the joy of music! But music touched me - physically , not just emotionally - long before I started sharing it with others. Yeah, I know. "Physically?? What does that even mean?" Well, it's like this: The harmonica changed my life - maybe even saved it. But I never wanted to play it or asked Santa to bring me one. In fact, about the time I started playing harmonica, it was maybe the last thing on my mind. Why? Because as an 8 year old kid, for no officially diagnosed reason, I had gone from outrunning teenage boys to being so weak that I couldn't walk, stand, or even sit up. I couldn't do much of anything, and honestly, I didn't even care anymore. I was giving up. One day my mom came home from the store, said "look ...

A s an entertainer, my job is to give people a reason to smile. Many of the songs I sing are to help my audience either forget their struggles or find new courage to face them, and any emotion I feel or convey from the stage is dictated by that principle. If only emotions were that predictable off stage. I grew up hearing cliches like "life is what you make it" and "happiness is a choice", and I guess I just assumed that was true. I still think it is - to a degree - but not every emotion can be called a choice. I know better than that now, and so does anyone else who's struggled with depression. I know what you're thinking: "What do you know about depression, Pearl? You're one of the funniest people I know. Do you even know how to not smile?" Well shucks, thanks for complimenting my sense of humor! But yes, I have actually experienced very smile-less depression, and more than once. I never woke up one day and said "I think I'll...

Fear of change. Fear of failure. Doubt. Hesitation. Sound familiar? Maybe that's because I talked about this at the beginning of this year. If you missed my most-read blog post , may I suggest you go catch that before reading on? Photo by Nick Tiemeyer on Unsplash At the time I wrote that, I was facing a very pivotal decision in both my career and my personal life. I wanted so much to quit and run away, to find a place with no risk and little responsibility, but I couldn't. The decision had already been made. So as I wrote that slightly ambiguous blog post, I was trying desperately to silence my fears because I had to move forward with that decision, with or without them. I did move forward. Almost 9 months ago now, two of my siblings and I split off from a 14 year career with our family bluegrass band to forge a new path in our musical journey. It was frightening to effect a change that would affect both my family and my music in ways none of us could entirely...

C an we just take a minute to appreciate the complexity of that title? It can and does indicate the nature of the post to follow, but it can also stand alone simultaneously contradicting and proving the very fact it states. Cool, huh!? A lright, enough of that, let's get on with the show. If you have read my blog before or know me personally, you might have noticed that I am a big fan of explanations. I will think, overthink, and rethink anything to find an explanation for said thing. Photo by Ken Treloar on Unsplash Some things need no explanation because they are as obvious as the nose on my face and make perfect sense. Some things positively don't have an explanation and never will, no matter how hard I try to find one. For instance, why do only 9 out of 10 restaurants I enter serve coffee? This is sad. But worse yet, why do 7 of those 9 restaurants have no idea what coffee should taste like (if that's actually coffee they're serving), or that it shoul...

I t seems like an unspoken rule that the first post a blogger publishes in a new year should be goal focused and extremely motivational. I'm not usually a rule breaker but I'm really not feeling very motivational (a possible factor in the lateness of this "New Year's" post). Photo by Isaac Holmgren on Unsplash Honestly folks, I'm ready to quit. Maybe I'm stressed. Maybe I'm tired. Maybe it's just time for a change. Maybe it's different every day, but everyone has their limit and I've reached mine. Like so many people do, I've tried setting goals and tried my best to achieve them, but my best never seems to be enough. The things I accomplish bring little satisfaction and I always feel like I should have done more, but if I set bigger goals then I'll only increase my stress and my chances of failure. I can't take it anymore and it's just time to quit. After all, it's better to quit than to fail, right? WR...

T he calendar pages have flown rapidly by (sometimes threatening to hit you in the face as they pass) and the first 10 months of the year are a faint blur in your memory. Now you can take a deep breath Photo by Element5 Digital on Unsplash --- and dive headfirst into "The Most Chaotic Time of the Year" (isn't that a song?) commonly referred to as "The Holiday Season". Holidays are such interesting occasions and there are many ways you can spend them, but I will try to summarize the two scenarios that stand out as being most common. (In an attempt to create some diversity among the long list of lists listed on the internet, I have listed the second item on this list first.) Holiday Celebration #2: Although there is a certain sense of excitement in the air, this is a dreaded occasion almost guaranteed to be one of the most awkward days of your entire year. You rush out of bed on the morning of the holiday and scramble to make the best culinary cr...

I can remember it like it was yesterday but yet it's somewhat of a blur. It started on October 11th, 2015. We were relaxing in an Oklahoma hotel room on a Sunday afternoon, and some of us were going to take a short nap before going to set up for our show that evening, but the phone rang before any of us could fall asleep. The call was from a friend in Minnesota who had gone to visit my grandparents that day. Grandma had been quite ill for a while, but we thought she was on the mend. Our friend, who had a background as a hospice nurse, could see otherwise. "How soon can you get here?", she asked my mom. "I know performing is your livelihood, and I feel sick telling you to cancel a show, but I'd feel worse if I didn't. The time it takes to do the concert might be all the time you'd have to say goodbye." So, we canceled our show and left the hotel as fast as we could pack. We got in the van and headed north. We stopped after a few hour...

A s exciting as it may be, this blog post is not the "It" that the title refers to. "It" is that glorious time when stores begin selling Christmas trees (which have already been advertised on TV for months), Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash deer begin crossing the road more frequently than chickens in jokes, and all of America begins either raving about or mocking Pumpkin Spice. You guessed "It": I'm talking about Fall! F all is a season of great enjoyment for people such as myself (of whom, I happen to be one). After the hecticness (that is too a word!) of summertime, we can pull our turtlenecks out of the closet, get back in touch with our inner hermit, and finally slow down to reflect on the memories we made during the past few months. Another thing that people such as myself may do around this time is write blog posts about all of the above. So as I reflect on the whirlwind some have called Summer, here are some observations that come...

I t seems like everyone has a label these days: liberal, conservative, Republican, Democrat, Libertarian, Christian, agnostic, atheist, feminist, racist, activist, and several others. These are all very common labels, but they represent very different ideas and none of them are neutral. Image by rawpixel via Unsplash U nfortunately, these labels have recently taken center stage by replacing some others that used to be considered important and even celebrated. Labels such as American, neighbor, citizen, family, and helper used to be very common and they were often considered equal with the greatest label of all: Friend . W hat changed?!  Folks, I'm only in my early twenties but even I can remember a time when it was more important to take care of people than politics ! Yes, I understand that politics are important but WHY would anyone who wears the label of "American" harm or kill another person with the same label, just because of differing political viewpoin...

I can't remember not liking to fish. In fact, I love to fish! I don't get to do it often but I enjoy it immensely when I do. I call each fish by name, whether or not I keep it, because I figure if a fish is smart enough to bite my hook then he is worthy of my respect! Every good fisherman has good fishing stories and of course, the reason for having good fishing stories is to tell them; with fishing season now or nearly open in several states, this seems like a perfect occasion to tell one, so here goes: Image by Ruth Haining - RBDesign A s a traveling performer, it has been my privilege to see many beautiful places throughout the USA. One of those places is the upper peninsula of Michigan, aka the"UP", which I've visited the last three summers. Thickly wooded and riveted with lakes, it is the perfect place to go fishing on a day off. Having relatives with a lake cabin and multiple fishing boats makes it even more perfect! I 've gone fishing every t...

S ome people are more emotionally driven than others. I am not one of them. However, lately I have been almost overcome by some emotional desires. These desires are so strong, yet so conflicted, that I hardly know how to express them. In fact, I've often tried to avoid expressing them at all, but I must express them somehow to release this tension, at least in part, if possible. T he desires I am speaking of relate to a very special individual whom I met several years ago. His name is Jesus. He is the perfect, sinless, Son of God. He created me, loves me, and wants to have fellowship with me. Such fellowship was impossible though, because my selfish heart had rebelled against him in pursuit of my own sinful desires. N ow and then I glanced at him and I sensed a faint longing to know him. Wasn't I created to know him? Shouldn't I at least try? I slowly, hesitantly moved towards him, only to find that I could not get to him. My rebellion had literally separated me...

O ne thing I've learned from being a traveling musician is to plan for plans to change. This lifestyle is very unpredictable and offers little routine beyond this loose protocol: Image by Glenn Carstens-Peters via Unsplash Step 1: Prepare for show. Step 2: Perform show. Step 3: Recuperate from show. Step 4: Repeat steps 1-4. T hat's how it goes, Folks, and that's how it's gone for the past several weeks. I managed to sleep, eat, and think between steps, but every time I thought I'd actually have some spare time, something new would come up. It's fun, crazy, and sometimes stressful, but it's a good life and I can't think of anything I'd rather do right now. There's really nothing predictable about it though, because anything from the weather to vehicle problems can mean a complete change of plans, and sometimes even canceling plans altogether. Y ou know what though? It's okay for plans to change sometimes. Maybe it's eve...

I drove under a clear blue sky, across the desert, through the mountains, and into a beautiful valley. I saw the other cars hurrying along the highway to their destinations with nothing holding them back. Throughout the drive I heard no gunshots, I felt no explosions, I saw no threat. I saw America. Image by Aaron Burden via Unsplash I saw a sea of people gathered in one place, watching a football get kicked, thrown, caught, and dropped. This sea of people could safely gather in mass, and the only enemy in their view was when the opposing team had possession of the football. The sea was divided as two sides took turns cheering for the possessor of the football, and yet they were united in their love of football itself. Throughout the duration of the game, and even at the conclusion, I saw no heated or hateful protests. I saw no acts of terrorism or violence. I saw America. I stood on a stage and I saw a crowd of people in front of me. I sang, they, clapped, we all s...